Listening to Butterfly Effect By Mr. Hamilton while I write this:
About 30 mins ago I got some disturbing news that my 2nd cousin Kim may not make it through the night. My mom is downstairs losing it cause that was her favorite cousin. I'm at a loss for words. What can I say that'll help the situation? Should I just keep my mouth shut and keep my faith? You see, my cousin was a very very religious woman. She doesn't watch T.V., doesn't wear pants..only long skirts that have to be below the knees, went to church 5 times a week. My mom used to ask her, "What is your religion?" She simply replied, "the church of God". Nothin more nothin less. At first I looked at my mom like she was crazy but I got to thinkin..remember on Passion of the Christ when ppl asked Jesus is he the son of God? All he really said was, "I am". I respect that to the fullest. There was no need to explain it, either u got it or u didn't. Hit or miss..plain and simple. Just like Jesus, my cousin didn't need to explain how deep her faith went, all she did was showed u the way if u were willing to learn . Damn I wish I was in Birmingham right now to bring you my Roses (on some Kanye shit). It's gonna be a good outcome regardless ya know? Either she lives for a lil bit longer or she lives forever..in my family's mind and in paradise being Heaven. I hate to see my mother hurt like this..I feel so helpless to her needs. I can only imagine how my Grandmother feels being in Birmingham without us there to soothe her pain. Even though all of our family is down there, its nothing like having the ppl she personally created there with her. If she does receive her wings tonight, I pray that she speaks to me in my dreams from time to time, enough so that I have vivid memories of it. Then again dreams are in my opinion real life. So I say that to say this, you'll never leave my mind. Even though we have different beliefs, we are the same. Once again I am lost...there's nothin like a lose in the family. It's almost like a crossroad in what direction we will go as a whole. But I know the answer..it's right in front of me. No right or left turns. Just straight ahead. Lord give my family the strength to get through this..especially her kids..David, Denetta, Dedra, and Dedric. I'm with yall all the way..besides..we family! Peace..
