So much to gain in so little time..

Want her..miss her..she's not ready.
This here is sitting on my mind..too heavy.
I understand she wants to be sure soooo....
I gotta let her go...
Don't be gone too long. Come back quick.
I can't stand being approached by another rat b1tch.
In the meantime in between time I'm on my grind
Not the money way but moreso to levitate.
So don't hate me, appreciate me.
Esp. For the love that I have given thee.
I'll be around..looking at you from a place called Now.
Wishing u were, I need u my dear.
Sometimes the future seems so unclear.
But it was all good cause ur voice was always near.
Now? No more.
What was all our future talks for?



Now u wanna back out based on somethin that should've been thought about long ago...or another voice made u change your mind. Either way, I'm glad you/they made u think. At least I won't be further disappointed if we were together. Get the "possibilities" out of the mental. < That woulda been living a major lie. And for that I thank you.. whether here or there...I'll love you.

After tryin someone else and it doesn't work...don't give up. Give yourself a chance.

Ok I'm back to the way I was..with an edge. Gained more wisdom while other are stuck in a place where time stands still. Sometimes in life u see exactly what u want, but the qualities aren't where u need them to be at the moment. Either that or they're just not ready to commit to a friendship, relationship, ect ect. In any case, I can't wait around for a person whose not ready to lay the sh1tbull to the side. Its not an "On to the next one." ordeal; Moreso, "On to me." I'm about to be in my mid 20's next month so enough with the games. I'm tryna make plans with my future very soon...get on or let me be. But when I think about it, I'm not mad at all. We'll go our separate ways and be just fine in the end. In retrospect, its about the pursuit of happiness. Ppl are gonna do what makes them happy without regards from others...sad enough, for a lot of ppl, that's the way of the world. That's why I choose to stay in my bubble of peace. Everybody seems to want to get an upperhand on someone. Time to make plans for the future...MY future. With or without you I'll prosper. When I try to include thee..u denied me. Damn lemme pause..I was finna black on em'! O.D.!!! Lol! This'll be good for me though ultimately. Either I'm not ready for a relationship or she's just not seeing what I'm tryna do...ORRR it could be another taking her time. Ok ok I'm a little insecure, clingy, and such. But someone who doesn't make me feel insecure and likes their boyfriend to be around all the time would be nice. Blame my insecurity on recent events based on what I've seen and experienced. My mushiness is for my love of women. You better want my mushy mode..somebody would. U should like the fact that I wanna be around all the time or wanna talk all the time. As opposed to the treatment others get...well let them tell it, I don't exist lol. If I get a gut feeling about someone I'm not gonna throw it away, but I'll set it to the side and let that person prove themselves. One thing I will commend "one" on though. "One" said that she'll never hurt me. She was right. I'm not hurt. Jus disappointed cause I invested my mind on the future with her. Wasn't a waste though...no sir ree bob. It taught me that I can love again..even if its long distance. Jus wasn't ready to click "Confirm" on my Love request. Ah well. Florida IS coming. Plenty of time to clear my thoughts to make room for the future.

By this time next month...

..I'll be wit my Crew sippin Margaritas or sum exotic drink on the beach. It's been so long since I've seen them. It'll feel good to get a part of me back upon meeting these catz. I ponder about what I'll do during my stay.. prolly smoke, drink, and roam the streets while jammin on my headphones. Idk if my guys join me or not. I need this inspirational journey to remind me that there's a big world out there.

Mrs. Dixon/Frost..ever. do u feel the same?

^ Has a nice ring to it. Now this is blogging properly lol. Now back to the purpose of this blog..my other half. I'm learning to not have trust issues when it comes to you. If u tell me to believe u then I will..no more to it. I sometimes get mad and/or jealous cause I don't hear from you at times. I'm still somewhat selfish jus as you are a brat but we'll make it work. I can't help that u got me feeling like this. But don't get me wrong, I'm not at all weak, I jus know how I want my woman to feel. I'm jus tryna show u what I've been wanting a true love to see outta me. I KNOW u see it. Whether or not u choose to come this way is on you. I know in my heart that you'll drift this way when its all said and done though. I often wonder if I think too hard when I say that I'm ready for us (all 4 of us..so far ;-)) to be a family. Whoever reads this that knows me KNOWS that this feling doesn't happen often for me. Minus all that, I really don't wanna interview anybody else. If words can describe how I feel, I might as well work for an auction or sumn sh1t..in other words, I can go on forever. Damn..wait a tick..do I sounds crazy!? Omg lmao! Definitely not crazy..but in real love again..YES! The only sucky part about being in love is that I don't have time to think about anything else but you (that's a good thing btw lol)! Oh yeah.. about the flowers I sent you. I wanted u to listen to this song while u gazed upon them lol..anywho, u might get the message I'm tryin to convey.





Ahh...now press repeat lol. J/k Damn its 4 in the a.m. and I'm writing to you so I can stay up so u better read this. Ok ok I know I said it before but I Love You. Keep doin what u doin (well not everything but u know what I mean). A lot of ppl for a long time thought that I'd be the one to not be in a meaningful relationship. What the hell gonna come between Y-O-U-A-N-D-M-E? Let's be the love that they said I'd never get..let's make history baby. I'm all in.

ords..NEVER! Mwahahahaha Mwahahahaha Mwahahahaha! (my Dr. Evil laugh). Peace humans..

ady for takeoff, after that I jus plan on...wait..why would I put that on here? I'll jus show you..but only if u can put yourself in my shoes. In other w

ing but hey Imma get it together (sooner or later). Life is good. Made Carmella happy with her gifts (More to come later baby), slowly getting Florida re

Its so hard to do good but so easy to mess up. Funny how life works at times. My blog posts have been looking rather suckey since trying the mobile blogg