Listen..

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^ Now at first I tried to find the regular song and failed. But as I listened to this chopped and screwed version, I figured that whoever comes to this blog and listens to/reads this entry might better understand what Lupe is SAYING rather than going for the beat or whatever the hell it is most of this generation goes for in music. Enjoy..


Now I ain't tryna be the greatest
I used to hate hip-hop... yup, because the women degraded
But Too $hort made me laugh, like a hypocrite I played it
A hypocrite I stated, though I only recited half
Omittin the word "bitch," cursin I wouldn't say it
Me and dog couldn't relate, til a bitch I dated
Forgive my favorite word for hers and hers alike
But I learnt it from a song I heard and sorta liked
Yeah, for the icin, glamorized drug dealin was appealin
But the block club kept it from in front of our buildin
Gangsta rap-based filmings became the buildin blocks
For children with leakin ceilings catchin drippins with pots
Coupled with compositions from Pac, Nas's "It Was Written"
In the mix with my realities and feelings
Living conditions, religion, ignorant wisdom and artistic vision
I began to jot, tap the world and listen, it drop

My mom can't feed me, my boyfriend beats me
I have sex for money, the hood don't love me
The cops wanna kill me, this nonsense built me
And I got noooo place to gooo
They bomb my village, they call us killers
Took me off they welfare, can't afford they health care
My teacher won't teach me, my master beats me
And it huuurts meee soooul

I had a ghetto boy bop, a Jay-Z boycott
'Cause he said that he never prayed to God, he prayed to Gotti
I'm thinkin godly, God guard me from the ungodly
But by my 30th watchin of "Streets is Watchin"
I was back to givin props again and that was botherin
By this uncomfortable as a untouchable touchin you
The theme songs that niggas hustle to seem wrong but these songs was comin true
And it was all becoming cool
I found a condom on the ground that Johns would cum into and thought
What constitutes a prostitute is the pursuit of profit then they drop it
The homie in a suit pat her on the butt, then rock it
It seems I was seein the same scene adopted
Prevalent in different things with the witnesses indifferent to stop it
They said don't knock it, mind ya business
His business isn't mine and that nigga pimpin got it

They took my daughter, we ain't got no water
I can't get hired, they cross on fire
We all got suspended, I just got sentenced
So I got noooo place to gooo
They threw down my gang sign, I ain't got no hang time
They talk about my sneakers, poisoned our leader
My father ain't seen me, turn off my TV
'Cause it huuurts meee soooul

So through the Grim Reaper sickle sharpening
Macintosh marketing
Oil field augering
Brazilian adolescent disarmament
Israeli occupation
Islamic martyrdom, precise
Yeah, laser guided targeting
Oil for food, water, and terrorist organization harborin
Sand camouflage army men
CCF sponsorin, world conquerin, telephone monitorin
Louis Vuitton modelin, pornographic actress honorin
String theory ponderin, bullimic vomitin
Catholic priest fondlin, pre-emptive bombin and Osama and no bombin them
They breakin in my car again, deforestation and overloggin and
Hennessy and Hypnotic swallowin, hydroponic coughin and
All the world's ills, sittin on chrome 24-inch wheels, like that

They say I'm infected, this is why I injected
I had it aborted, we got deported
My laptop got spyware, they say that I can't lie here
But I got noooo place to gooo
I can't stop eatin, my best friend's leavin
My pastor touched me, I love this country
I lost my earpiece, I hope y'all hear me
'Cause it huuurts meee soooul

Why Why WHY??

In spite of the anger that enveloped me yesterday, I'll speak on it. First of all, females have no idea what they want! They deal with the worst kind of guys and come to me with their problems. Now for the record, I don't mind helping out, but don't keep coming to me about the same sh1t and expect me to have a different solution..period. My only aim is to show you that there is much better out there, and I'm not talking about me...hell that's how I got over my ex; I realized there was much better out there for me. My friend Alicia told me that most females don't know what they want til the age of like 35 (or something like that). IDK how true that is but if it's anywhere near that age they better get a clue real soon. I think that females might need a sense of security, that's why they stick it out with that particular person..or maybe they're afraid to be alone. Maybe they should try listening to Love and Appreciate by Murs if they need help. I just hate to see beautiful women go through so much b.s. with a bad choice instead of upgrading themselves by themselves. That's all I can think of for now..I'm done son.

Guess who's back...on your desktop...

YEAHHHH.....

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^ Kid Cudi is definitely on the way to the top.

Early Thoughts

So it's 6:10am: washing clothes and getting ready to hit the gym jamming to MYtunes. Funeral Saturday in Columbus, Ga. It kinda bothers me knowing that the 2 times I've been to GA it's been for a funeral. I still think about the last one..it was for Kim Freeney (Deidra's Mother); The weather was very odd. It snowed on the day of the funeral (I think it was in March). I'm not used to seeing snow in the previous times of being in the South. But on the way back to B'ham from GA, the snow stopped , clouds parted, and the sun melted all the snow within 45 mins. I believe it snowed because there was so much sorrow in the church at that moment. I then knew Kim went to a place beyond here when the clouds parted. With that said, there is indeed life after death. I also believe that the people who recognize the signs of a higher being are just as important as those who created the signs in order for them to be preached to others in/out of church. Odd? Nah..





I wonder what this one is gonna be like..

Everybody is wearing all white. I choose to further compliment my cousin with a White and Purple Rose before she embarks on her journey to "The Next Level". The Purple Rose primarily because that was her favorite color.

Pause.


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(White Roses mean Purity, Innocence, Silence, Secrecy, Reverence, Humility, Youthfulness, "I am worthy of you", Heavenly)



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(The purple rose indicates love at first sight, the first emotions of love and enchantment. The need to proceed slowly and cautiously. It represents the importance of the spiritual over the material. The purple rose also represents wealth, riches, and majesty. Purple roses say "I will always love you".)

Thoughts on hold for the moment..gotta get the day started...

This is gonna be an intersting fi...damn that was fast!

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^ Kiss the rings b1tch..

Forever

I saw my cousin EXACTLY 2 weeks ago. She was getting better. God saw otherwise. She went home and received her wings. Pause.

R.I.P. Deidra Freeney

August 11, 1981- Still Alive (In MY Mind..just in the Land of the Divine).

P.S. You better come see me in my dreams. We still got things to talk about..

How can I do this?

As I chillax in the office tonight I think about the women I've come across since being down here. Some are very sweet and some are quite sour (lol). I realized that I like a woman that can speak for herself for most cases but can be a sweetheart at the same time. Not one that swears so much..only when necessary. It's not ladylike to swear every 15 secs..period. I don't want someone who goes to clubs so much either. Rather, someone who can actually enjoy being at home or out of the spotlight for someone they genuinely like. That kinda puts on the role of "someone needing to be noticed all the time" if you're going on a weekly basis. It also shows a sign of immaturity..but that's just my opinion (like it matters). Weed smokers are ok as long as she doesn't feel like she needs it all the time (Mind Control). Not on some, "I need a blunt! or.."Where da weed at?" type sh1t. << Major turn off. I've also realized that personality and individuality can go a long way. So far that even if you're just a cool person (in my book), I don't mind being around you. True enough I'm a man, but I've learned to withhold my sexual desires for something more in a woman. I've even gotten to the point where I can lay in a bed with a female all night not not have to have sex or tempt myself to do so. Pause. Maturity is the word. I guess being down here is benefiting me so far. It's bringing me to understand more about myself. I haven't talked to a few ppl from home in about a week or so, with that said, in case y'all forgot, I love all y'all. Imma start getting back in the weight room too..gotta get this body right. I met a nice girl in Lowe's today..real down to earth. I ACTUALLY approached her too. Talk about nervous! I usually break out in sweats as soon as I think about approaching a female. I'm shy, contrary to belief. I guess it's because I think about a scenario of her playing me in my mind and it always turned me away. (Overthinking- When you create situations for the good and for the bad).

" But I do know that eyes give out the truth. Lie is a mouth pollution, so I gotta figure out a solution without abusing everything I am about so..how can I do this?"- Charles Hamilton- In Case I Actually Get Her

It turned out pretty good though. I couldn't ask for more except a chance at peaceful dialogue and she subliminally accepted. She offered good conversation and asked me to write my number down. Good or Bad? I didn't know what to think. I didn't wanna appear thirsty and ask for hers so fast (Overthinking again). I played it real cool though. I think I left a good impression (and again lol). If so, I'll speak to her soon. We'll see how that goes though. I still got big plans for the next few years. What u may ask? I'd rather not speak on that just in case it doesn't go as planned..don't wanna jinx myself. 4th of July was cool. Spent time with family. The more I spend time with them, it makes me realize the importance of all forms of family. Many may not think of it like I do, but everybody needs some sort of family even if they're not willing to help you in times of need or at all for that matter. Just know that they'll be the first at the funeral. That goes for the friends I've received as family over the years as well. That's all I can think of for now..bye.

R.I.P. Cardon...

Real Hip Hop...

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^ This is the type of music that doesn't make you go crazy all over the club, but the type that makes you sit in one spot just to nod your head and vibe...